Life is unpredictable.

"Do not dwell in the past, Do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." - Buddha

During these past few weeks I have been thinking a lot about the past and what I should have, would have, or could have done differently. I find that I think about my past relationships and think about what would have happened if I had just put aside my doubts and my annoyances to really love some of these great guys. When I catch myself thinking about these relationships, it helps to realize that the doubts were present for a reason and that I shouldn't try to force something that I felt wasn't right to begin with. If you are always looking backward, there is no way you can start to move forward. I found this quote today and I found that it's a great reminder to live for now with no regrets. 

Its really easy to say that you can stop dwelling in the past, but when all is said and done, I still find myself replaying the big moments in my life where I wish I could have done something differently. Then I realize that when I prayed about my decision, I got my answer. It hasn't changed, and never will. So I know that I did make the right decision. No matter how hard it may have been at the time, it was the right thing for me at that point in my life.

So now is the issue of the future. Who doesn't want to know who they will marry, how many kids they will have, and what obstacles they will face? If that were possible, many heartaches could be avoided. However, that is not why we're here. We are here to learn and grow because of the adversity that is present in our daily lives. If I didn't know what heart ache feels like, how would I know what a great feeling pure joy is? I simply wouldn't. Usually, fear is what holds me back from living my life day to day, I find that i'm fearful about my future more than anything. I worry about my future husband, and where he may be. I worry about my family and how long I may have left with them. I worry about my friends and when that time will come when we have all moved on and we don't keep in touch anymore. Life is filled with worry and fear. The best thing we can do is to learn how to replace fear, worry and doubt with pure faith.

For me, it's really easy to feel sorry for myself for the many parts of my life that aren't going quite as I planned. Life has a way of throwing off my carefully laid plan so much, that I don't know where I'll be next. I get my comfort from knowing that my Heavenly Father knows who I am and his plan for me is better than any plan that I could come up with on my own. He knows me better than I know myself. I am so grateful for him and this gospel and the hope that it gives me everyday. Life is unpredictable, and with him, I can deal with everything that is thrown at me.